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Picture of Animals on Stones
An eyeful a day keeps the doctor away.
Creative Brilliance in Advertisement
Innocent Cry
Womens are always Clever
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the Mental Hospital."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you...to leave."
Man: "Hey Cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"
Wow !!! What a Classic Date
Illusion or Reality ???
Art Eggcident
Monalisa After One Week
How does he Born...???
Pappu: Dad how was I born
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Dad: well son, your Mom & I got to gether at 'YAHOO'
we set us a date via E-Mail, & Met in a cyber cafe,
Your Mom agreed to dowload data from my PEN DRIVE,
JUST when I was about to "Transfer"
we realised that none of us have installed "FIREWALL"
IT was too late to DELETE
9 months later a POP-UP Window appeared & said
YOU HAVE GOT A MALE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
New Revolution of Sandals......
Perfect way of taking Picture
Poor Man"s Vacation
Can You Do This???????
Do you know how these people have Sex ???
ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.
ACTORS do it on cue.
ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.
AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.
ANSI does it in the standard way
ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.
ARCHITECTS have great plans.
ARTISTS are exhibitionists.
ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.
ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.
ATTORNEYS make better motions.
AUDITORS like to examine figures.
BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.
BAILIFFS always come to order.
BAKERS knead it daily.
BAND MEMBERS play all night.
BANKERS do it with interest -penalty for early withdrawal.
BARBERS do it with shear pleasure.
BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.
BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base.
BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often.
BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey.
BEER BREWERS do it with more hops.
BEER DRINKERS get more head.
BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.
BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry.
BOSSES delegate the task to others.
BOWLERS have bigger balls.
BRICKLAYERS lay all day.
BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber.
BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time.
BUTCHERS have better meat.
C'Bers do it on the air.
CAMPERS do it in a tent.
CARPENTERS hammer it harder.
CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor.
CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm.
CHEMISTS like to experiment.
CHESS PLAYERS check their mates.
CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation.
CLOCK MAKERS do it mechanically.
CLOWNS do it for laughs.
COACHES whistle while they work.
COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs.
COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs.
COMPUTER GAME PLAYERS just can't stop.
COMPUTER OPERATORS get the most out of their software.
CONSTRUCTION WORKERS lay a better foundation.
CONSULTANTS tell other how to do it.
COPS have bigger guns.
COWBOYS handle anything horny.
COWGIRLS like to ride bareback.
CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls.
CREDIT MANAGERS always collect.
DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds.
DEADHEADS do it with Jerry.
DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck.
DENTAL HYGIENISTS do it till it hurts.
DENTISTS do it in your mouth.
DETECTIVES do it under cover.
DIETICIANS eat better.
DIRECT MAILERS get it in the sack.
DIVERS do it deeper.
DOCTORS do it with patience.
DRUGGISTS fill your prescription.
DRUMMERS do it in 4/4 time.
DRY WALLER'S are better bangers.
ELECTRICIANS check your shorts.
ENGINEERS charge by the hour.
EXECUTIVES have large staffs.
FARMERS spread it around.
FIREMEN are always in heat.
FISHERMEN are proud of their rods.
FOOTBALL PLAYERS are measured by the yard.
FOUR-WHEELERS eat more bush.
FURRIERS appreciate good beaver.
GARBAGE MEN come once a week.
GARDENERS have 50 foot hoses.
GAS STATION ATTENDANTS pump all day.
GEOLOGISTS are great explorers.
GOLFERS do it in 18 holes.
GYMNASTS mount and dismount well.
HACKERS do it with fewer instructions.
HAIRDRESSERS give the best blow jobs.
HAM OPERATORS do it with frequency.
HANDYMEN like good screws.
HEWLETT PACKARD does it with precision.
HORSEBACK RIDERS stay in the saddle longer.
HUNTERS do it with a bang.
INSURANCE SALESMEN are premium lovers.
INTERIOR DECORATORS do it all over the house.
INVENTORS find a way.
JANITORS clean up afterwards.
JEWELERS mount real gems.
JOGGERS do it on the run.
LANDSCAPERS plant it deeper.
LAWYERS do it in their briefs.
LIBRARIANS do it quietly.
LOCKSMITHS can get into anything.
LONG DISTANCE RUNNERS last longer.
MACHINISTS make the best screws.
MAGICIANS are quicker than the eye.
MAINTENANCE MEN sweep 'em off their feet.
MANAGERS supervise others.
MARKETING REPs do it on commission.
MILKMEN deliver twice a week.
MILLIONAIRES pay to have it done.
MINERS sink deeper shafts.
MINISTERS do it on Sundays.
MISSILE MEN have better thrust.
MODELS do it in any position.
MODEM MANUFACTURERS do it with all sorts of characters.
MOTORCYCLISTS like something hot between their legs.
MOVIE STARS do it on film.
MUSICIANS do it with rhythm.
NONSMOKERS do it without huffing and puffing.
NURSES call the shots.
OCEANOGRAPHERS do it down under.
OPERATORS do it person-to-person.
OPTOMETRISTS do it face-to-face.
PAINTERS do it with longer strokes.
PARAMEDICS PHOTOGRAPHERS do it with a flash.
PHYSICISTS do it with uniform harmonic motion.
PILOTS keep it up longer.
PLUMBERS do it under the sink.
POLICEMEN like big busts.
POLITICIANS do it for 4 years then have to get re-*****ed.
POSTMEN come slower.
PRINTERS do it without wrinkling the sheets.
PRINTERS reproduce the fastest.
PROCTOLOGISTS do it in the end.
PROFESSORS do it by the book.
RACERS like to come in first.
RACQUETBALL PLAYERS do it off the wall..
RADIO and TV ANNOUNCERS broadcast it.
REAL ESTATE PEOPLE know all the prime spots.
RECYCLERS use it again.
REPAIRMEN can fix anything.
REPORTERS do it daily.
RESEARCHERS are still looking for it.
RETAILERS move their merchandise.
ROOFERS do it on top.
RUNNERS get into more pants.
SAILORS like to be blown.
SALESPEOPLE have away with their tongues.
SCIENTISTS discovered it.
SECRETARIES do it from 9 to 5.
SKYDIVERS are good till the last drop.
SOCCER PLAYERS have leather balls.
SPEECH PATHOLOGISTS are oral specialists.
SPELUNKERS do it underground.
SPORTSCASTERS like an instant replay.
STEWARDESSES do it in the air.
STUDENTS use their heads.
SURGEONS are smooth operators.
TAILORS make it fit.
TAXI DRIVERS do it all over town.
TAXIDERMISTS mount anything.
TELEPHONE CO. EMPLOYEES let their fingers do the walking.
TELLERS can handle all deposits and withdrawals.
TENNIS PLAYERS have fuzzy balls.
TRUCK DRIVERS have bigger dipsticks.
TRUCKERS carry bigger loads.
TYPISTS do it in triplicate.
VETERINARIANS are ***** lovers.
VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS keep it up.
WAITRESSES serve it piping hot.
WATER SKIERS come down harder.
WELDERS have hotter rods.
WRESTLERS know the best holds.
WRITERS have novel ways.
ZOOLOGISTS do it with animal instinct.
Car fully covered with Pens
Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa , half
discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile
soil.
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America , well
developed and open to trade, especially for someone
with cash.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India , very hot,
relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France , gently
aging; but still warm and a desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain ,
with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia , lost
some wars, won some great battles but haunted by
past mistakes, still very strong and proud.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia , very
wide and borders are now largely un-patrolled.
After 70, she becomes Tibet . Off the beaten path,
with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the
ages...still desirable but only those with an
adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge
and true love, dare visit there.
Father and Son
Why women have Two Hands.......
What it will be if it is not Zebra Crossing ???
How to Sleep in Office ?????????
Dog on Safari
Dog on Safari

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dog along for company.
One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.
The dog thinks, "Boy, I'm in deep doo doo now."
Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Man, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew", says the leopard. "That was close. That dog nearly had me."
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.

But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The cat is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."
Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks," What am I going to do now?"
But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet.
And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that monkey. I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he's still not back!!"

Types of Love
Mad Mad World
Are you Crazy about your Cat ? Check this out....
Some of these cat paintings have cost $15,000 and had to be renewed every 3 months! Some cat owners are really crazy about their cats! I'm not sure these poor cats really enjoyed the long hours of painting on their fur. The results are pretty amazing! Some cat painting are very simple with a unique color, others are very complex and required a true artist, like painting on a canvas. These cats are ready for Halloween!












What if few things are invisible
How to Identify a Male Snake
Bevde Zameen Par
Bar main daily jaata Hoon Main Maa ...
Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin
Daru peekar roz aata hun Main Maa ....
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata, Hain Na Maa...
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata, Meri Maa...
Theke pe Yun Na Chhoro Mujhe ,
Ghar Laut Ke Bhi Aa Naa Paoon Main Maa...
Paua lene Bhej Na Itna Door Mujko Tu,
Ghar bhi bhool jaun main Maa...
Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main Maa...
Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main ...Meri Maa..
Scotch main ,itna peeta nahi,
Peg Se Seham Jaata Hoon Main Maa
Chehre Pe Aane Deta Nahin
Lekin kabhi ludak jaata Hoon Main Maa
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata...Hai Naa Maa
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata, Meri Maa ...
Funny Computer Prank...
Friendship Between Men & Women

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.
Friendship Between Men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
Define You Character

Check this out.... It Really Worked with me.... Will work with u too...
Here you have a great chance to know about yourself like your character
etc. without spending any money. This test was devised by oxford
university. It tells about your personality just by your choice. So know
yourself & enjoy
Here it is.....
Imagine you walked into a small hut by the river in the jungle. You pushed
open the door, in front of you were 7 small beds to the right of the
hut,and another 7 small chairs surrounding a small round table. In the
middle of the table was a round food tray with 5 kinds of fruit in it.
There are:
a. Apple
b. Banana
c. Strawberry
d. Peach
e. Orange
Which fruit will u choose?
Your choice reveals about u! Pls be very Honest to yourself.....
& Now scroll down for results:
....................
......................................
................................................
TEST RESULTS:
Here are the results.
---------------------------
a. if you've chosen apple: that means you are a person who loves to eat
Apple
b. if you've chosen banana: that means you are a person who loves to
eat Banana
c. if you've chosen strawberry: that means you are a person who loves to
eat Strawberry
d. if you've chosen peach: that means you are a person who loves to eat
Peach
e. if you've chosen orange: that means you are person who loves to eat
Orange

Note: If u r hunting for me to punch me.....Well...I am busy hunting for
the person who sent me this!!!!!
The Stupid Test
OK. Pay close attention. Here is a very simple little test comprised On Your Mark, Get Set, Go... |
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| 1: You are competing in a race and overtake the runner in second
ANSWER: If you answered that you're now in first, you're wrong! |
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| 2: If you overtake the last runner, what position are you now in?
ANSWER: If you answered second to last, you are wrong once again. |
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| 3: Take 1000. Add 40. Add another 1000.
ANSWER: 5000? Wrong again! The correct answer is 4100. Try |
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| 4: Marie's father has five daughters:
ANSWER: Chuchu? WRONG! It's obviously Marie! Read the question properly. |

Intelligent Sardar

A Sardar and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from
like to play a fun-game.
The Sardar, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he
politely declines and
rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy
and a lot of fun.
He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know
the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa."
Again, the Sardar declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't
know the answer, you pay me $5,
and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500."
This gets the sardar's attention and, figuring there
will be no end to this torment,
agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question, "What's the
distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Sardar doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,
pulls out a $5 bill and
hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."
So the Sardar asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs
and comes down with four legs?"
The American thinks about it. No answer.
Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches
all his references. No answer!
He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches
the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and
co-workers.
Checks the input. All to no avail!
Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Sardar and
hands him $500.
The Sardar thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.
The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the
Sardar and asks,
"Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Sardar reaches into his purse, hands
the American $5,
and goes back to sleep!
3 Ways to Catch Tiger
- NEWTON METHOD: let tiger catch you. Every action has equal and opposite reaction. u can catch tiger as observed.
- EINSTEIN METHOD: run in opposite direction to tiger. According to theory of relativity tiger will run fast and get tired and then you will be able to catch it.
- According to most efficient POLICE METHOD: Catch a CAT and torture it till it agrees that its the TIGER.
I Like Your Thinking
"I Like Your Thinking"

A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'' She calls on little Johnny.
''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.''
The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'' Then Little Johnny says, ''I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?''
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ''Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.''
''The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...but I like your thinking.''
Old News,,,,,,,

A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o'clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge.
The brunette turns to the blonde and says, " I bet you $50 the man is going to jump." The blonde replies, "Okay you're on." Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50.
The brunette says, "I can't accept this money. I watched the 5 o'clock news and saw the man jump then." "No, you have to take it," says the blonde.
"I watched the 5 o'clock news too, but I didn't think he would do it again."

Yo Mama"s So Stupid
Yo Mama"s So Stupid

Yo mama's so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate".
Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
Yo mama's so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was behind it.
Yo mama's so stupid, she failed a survey.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go.
Yo mama's so stupid, when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any' key.
- Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her jumping up and down, asked what she was doing, and she said she drank a bottle of medicine and forgot to shake it.
Moving Up a Few Grades

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Eddy what is your problem?" Eddy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
The teacher had enough.
She took Eddy to the principal's office.
While Eddy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
The teacher agreed.
Eddy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Eddy: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Eddy: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.
The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Eddy can go to the third-grade."
The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"
The principal and Eddy both agree.
The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Eddy, after a moment, "Legs."
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!
Eddy replied, "Pockets."
Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Eddy: Coconut
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Eddy was taking charge.
Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? Eddy: Bubblegum
Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.
Eddy: Fork
Teacher: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Eddy: Surname
Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Eddy: Heart
Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Eddy: Shake hands
Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay? Eddy: Yep.
Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Eddy: Tent
Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
Principal was looking restless and bit tense.
Eddy: Wedding Ring
Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. Eddy: Nose
Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. Eddy: Arrow
Teacher: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement? Eddy: Firetruck
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Eddy in the fifth-grade, I missed the last ten questions myself."
Male Blond
Blonde Goes Camping

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde were
camping when they ran out of food. The
brunette went out hunting and came back the
next morning with a deer.

How did you get
that? asked the redhead. Well, said the
brunette found the tracks, followed the tracks,
shot the deer. The next night the redhead went
out hunting. The next morning she came back
with a bear.

How did you get that? asked the
blonde. Found the tracks, followed the tracks,
shot the bear, said the redhead. The third night
the blonde went out and the next morning she
came back brusied, bloody, and clothes torn.
What happened said the brunette? The blonde
replied, found the tracks, followed the tracks,
got hit by the train.
Death Row in Women's Prison
Three women are about to be executed.
One's a brunette, one's a redhead and one's a blonde.
![]() | | | | ![]() | ![]() | ![]() |
The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!''
![]() | |
Suddenly the brunette yells, ''EARTHQUAKE!!!''

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.
The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!''
![]() | |
Suddenly the redhead yells, ''TORNADO!!!''

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out.
The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!''
![]() | |
and the blonde yells, ''FIRE!!!'''
Confession
Confession
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly , sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet , not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says , "Dark in here."
The man says , "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No , thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK , how much?"
Boy - "$150"
Man - "Sold."
In the next few weeks , it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove."
The lover , remembering the last time , asks the boy , "How much?"
Boy - "$350"
Man - "Highway robbery. Sold."
A few days later , the father says to the boy , "Grab your gloves , let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says , "I can't , I sold my ball and my glove."
The father asks , "How much did you sell them for?"
The boy says , "$500"
The father says , "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... That is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says , "Dark in here."
The priest says , "Don't start that shit again , you're in my closet now.


























































































































